I spent most of today trying very, very hard not to completely lose my mind. That fine line between sanity and insanity or composure and nervous breakdown is coming into view more and more. Moving is stressful...there is no two ways about it. Even starting early, even being one of the most organized people on the planet, even when the circumstances are positive...I think I can I think I can...
As the days go by, there is less and less furniture around. The closets are gone, so the clothes are in suitcases. I am proud to say that I got all of mine in one suitcase, and there is still room. Now that is an achievement for any woman I tell you. But we will be maxed out on our luggage when we fly....that should be pretty fun. Schlepping two kids is a challenge for any sane and motivated person, much less 6 suitcases, a stroller, 2 carseats, and a travel crib. And we're mailing some boxes too. Toys, good cooking gear, journals, paintings, cds, etc. While sorting through all these boxes and boxes of every letter and card I have ever received, it dawned on me that people don't write letters anymore. I don't save every single email, why do I feel like I have to save every single letter? I don't know, but I do.
So, there is still a month to go and quite a lot to do. Only a little can be done each day. There is still work and children and cooking and cleaning....but we are getting there. I am having a hard time waiting...this limbo is a kind of hell. When some of the bigger logistical things are in place, I think I will sleep better at night.
And if you have been following the weather, you will know there is something pretty extraordinary going on right now outside. Today, with the windchill, it was minus 26 degrees c. It is supposed to get a little better tomorrow, but worse next week. Yesterday, when I willed myself to the grocery store with a baby who was emitting soft moans the whole way, I actually saw a woman with frost on her cheek and like these little icicles in her hair. That was fucking weird. Then later on in the day yesterday, a friend of mine actually said, "Wow, its beautiful today." She was talking about the sunshine. You see, we are so sun deprived, that we think it is beautiful out when the sun shines, regardless of whether or not it is minus 24 outside. Pure craziness.
Everytime I run into someone I know they say something about how it sucks that we couldn't move a little earlier and spare ourselves this extreme weather. But my response is that I like it this way. It makes it much, MUCH, harder to have any regrets. If it were summer in Berlin right now, I think we'd be doubting ourselves over and over. Summer in Berlin is beautiful. The flip side to this equation is that I am not having much of a nostalgic parting. Instead of, "Oh I will miss such and such bakery, it is more like, "What the hell date is it and how many more days until I can leave?" Being the professional escapist that I am, the latter is much easier. But those moments will still come...emailing with friends and hearing about the births of their babies, unpacking boxes and remembering where the things were placed in our Berlin apartment, etc.
Time to get some sleep. Love to all, Mama Jens
As the days go by, there is less and less furniture around. The closets are gone, so the clothes are in suitcases. I am proud to say that I got all of mine in one suitcase, and there is still room. Now that is an achievement for any woman I tell you. But we will be maxed out on our luggage when we fly....that should be pretty fun. Schlepping two kids is a challenge for any sane and motivated person, much less 6 suitcases, a stroller, 2 carseats, and a travel crib. And we're mailing some boxes too. Toys, good cooking gear, journals, paintings, cds, etc. While sorting through all these boxes and boxes of every letter and card I have ever received, it dawned on me that people don't write letters anymore. I don't save every single email, why do I feel like I have to save every single letter? I don't know, but I do.
So, there is still a month to go and quite a lot to do. Only a little can be done each day. There is still work and children and cooking and cleaning....but we are getting there. I am having a hard time waiting...this limbo is a kind of hell. When some of the bigger logistical things are in place, I think I will sleep better at night.
And if you have been following the weather, you will know there is something pretty extraordinary going on right now outside. Today, with the windchill, it was minus 26 degrees c. It is supposed to get a little better tomorrow, but worse next week. Yesterday, when I willed myself to the grocery store with a baby who was emitting soft moans the whole way, I actually saw a woman with frost on her cheek and like these little icicles in her hair. That was fucking weird. Then later on in the day yesterday, a friend of mine actually said, "Wow, its beautiful today." She was talking about the sunshine. You see, we are so sun deprived, that we think it is beautiful out when the sun shines, regardless of whether or not it is minus 24 outside. Pure craziness.
Everytime I run into someone I know they say something about how it sucks that we couldn't move a little earlier and spare ourselves this extreme weather. But my response is that I like it this way. It makes it much, MUCH, harder to have any regrets. If it were summer in Berlin right now, I think we'd be doubting ourselves over and over. Summer in Berlin is beautiful. The flip side to this equation is that I am not having much of a nostalgic parting. Instead of, "Oh I will miss such and such bakery, it is more like, "What the hell date is it and how many more days until I can leave?" Being the professional escapist that I am, the latter is much easier. But those moments will still come...emailing with friends and hearing about the births of their babies, unpacking boxes and remembering where the things were placed in our Berlin apartment, etc.
Time to get some sleep. Love to all, Mama Jens
posted by mama jens at 1:11 PM
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